44/52

This week I got to spend some time in Florida with my very good friend, Nicole.  Nicole and I went to the same high school and sang in choir together.  We hadn't kept in touch after high school, but about 6 years ago, her daughter and my little guy, Isaac, were in the same preschool class.  Isaac had a speech delay, but oh, how he loved to talk about Emilie.  Whether or not Emilie liked him as much as he liked her, I'll never know, but she was so kind and polite to him.

It always surprises me how small the world really is.  That she and I would have moved to this area at the same time, and had our children enrolled in the same preschool class.  She recognized me one day after class and we have been close ever since.

Neither of us have ever done a "girls getaway" before.  Between work and kids and all kinds of responsibilities and juggling schedules, it just seemed impossible.  But finally, we sat down, compared calendars and made it happen.

 
And I'm so glad we did.  We had absolutely NO agenda.  No responsibilities.  No one to take care of but ourselves.  We got up each morning, had breakfast and then put on our suits and sat at the beach ALL afternoon.  We read, we talked, we enjoyed the view from the beach chairs.  We reapplied sunscreen, we listened to the waves crash against the rocks and we talked some more.  When we had enough, we showered and went to dinner.  After walking along the boardwalk, we went back to our room and then fell asleep so we could do it all again the next day.

There were these groups of large rocks spaced out on the shoreline - I'd say every 50 - 60 feet or so.  I'm not sure why they were there, but they were beautiful.  Couple that with the blue sky and the turquoise waters and that view from the beach chairs was breathtaking.  It's hard not to contemplate life while you are sitting on a beach with one of your very best friends with a view of the ocean and the sound of the waves.  The things that matter most to you start to really come into focus.  Thoughts about your dreams and hopes and goals roll in and out like the waves.  You start to really think about how decisions you've made along the way have shaped your life and affected those around you.  You start to forget the complexity of your troubles, and the vision for your life seems so simple, so obvious, and so achievable. 

There was no way to resist climbing on some of the rocks to take pictures.

And maybe that's what relaxing is supposed to do.  Give you time and space to recharge your batteries so you can go back to your real life and face things head on and make changes where changes need to be made.  Give you that opportunity to reflect on what's happening in your life and think about what's working and what's not.  And then give you the chance to dream those big dreams.

The waves were fairly large every day we were there.  But on the last day, the rip current was dangerous, so they put up a Danger sign.  I will admit - the tide was higher, the waves were bigger and it was windier than any of the other days we were there.  The ocean looked chaotic, tumultuous and not the pretty turquoise color we had seen yesterday and the day before.

I felt like the sign was a warning - "You're about to go back to your real life, be prepared!"  Both Nicole and I felt like we were thrust back into reality once we stepped out of the black Suburban that brought us home.  Unpacking, doing laundry, and figuring out what to make for dinner stared at us as we walked in the door.  But armed with three days of relaxing in the sunshine with palm trees, we were ready to stare right back. 


Before we left, we found a group of rocks that would be easy to climb to take a few pictures.  This was my favorite of Nicole.  

Nicole is one of those down-to-earth people that I can tell anything to and she gets it.  She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out.  It's impossible not to love her.  She genuinely cares for people.  She is easy-going and fun to be around.  It's obvious that her family is important to her; Nicole and I helped Emilie with centimeters, meters and millimeters (I think?) homework and I adored hearing her read the bedtime devotional to her kids before bed each night.

She and I are both directionally challenged so it must have been a treat for anyone watching us get off the elevator when we started to walk in the wrong direction, or tried to find our rental car in the wrong parking lot.  We laughed, we cried, we talked, we listened and we sat in silence.  We aren't afraid to ask each other the hard questions.  You know, like, "Where are we going for dinner?"

Love you, Nicole, and thanks for being by my side this week.  :)

43/52

How do you see yourself?  How well can you see yourself without some tool of reflection?  You can look down and see most of yourself, but to see all of you, you need a mirror, or some reflective surface.

About 4 years ago, when Zoey was about 9 months old, I took this picture of her looking at me in the reflection of the minivan.   I'm sure that if she had been looking at herself, she might think, "Wow, my ears really stick out" or "Ugh. My legs are really not as long as I thought they were" since the convexness (this isn't a word, but it should be) of the side of minivan would make anything in the center look larger than the top or the bottom.

It was awesome to go to the bean at 9:00 before there were too many other people around. 

Last weekend at the bean, I also took this picture.  That's me in the red jacket with the camera.  But if I was using the bean to see the buildings behind me - and using it as the "True North," I would be way off.  You can see that the building to your far left is curved quite dramatically, and if I didn't know better, I might really consider the possibility of the building being designed with a remarkable curvature.

I cannot tell you the number of selfies I delete from my phone because I think, "Do I really look like that?  Please tell me it's the angle of the phone... or SOMEthing!"  And there is truth to that.  Depending on the angle of the camera, you can make something look smaller or larger depending on the distance from the lens to the subject.  So you have to pose yourself carefully to get a flattering shot. Ugh. It's. So. Much. Work.  LOL

I think because we see so much inside ourselves and are overly critical, we see ALL the flaws in a photo of ourselves, and most of the time, none of the beauty.

But choose that reflective surface carefully, or otherwise you could get a distorted view of yourself. Like a fun house mirror or your side view mirror on your car, the object can appear differently than what they really are.  Okay, we have to talk about that side view mirror warning that is printed on every side view mirror I've ever seen: Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.  This baffles me.  Why would that be the case in a mirror that you would check before you might be changing lanes?  Wouldn't you want it to be the reverse?  That the car appears closer than it really is, so maybe then people wouldn't cut each other off - thinking possibly that they had plenty of room to squeeze in!?

Okay, back to the distorted views.  Don't let one semi-warped mirror be your sole reflective surface.  I'm thinking back to a dance studio that had installed (sort of cheap) mirrors on a wall that was not level or flat.  Depending on where you stood in front of the mirror, you were either really thin or really not.  And as I mentioned before, I know that the buildings in Chicago are not curved, because I know better, I've seen them with my own eyes.  Much like our friends and family might disagree with our interpretation of our reflection because they see us with their own eyes. 

Over the weekend, after Brian washed his motorcycle, this puddle appeared in our driveway.  The reflection of the sky, clouds and treetops were crystal clear. 

The view in the puddle was just as beautiful as the sky itself.

Having Making time to reflect is important.  It's best to do this when you are calm, when you're out of the line of fire, and depending on the type of person you are - with quiet - kind of like meditation.  Get to know yourself a little better.  Trust what you see if the reflection feels right to you.  I think it takes practice to do well.  I'm getting some practice in this week as I sit on a beach (possibly with a fruity drink in my hand).  I'll let you know how I do.  :)

42/52

I feel like everyone on the planet can relate to your life spiraling out of control at one time or another.  And if you're lucky, it doesn't last too long. 

Between getting things at work and at home all set for our Spring Break trip a couple weeks ago and then returning to that monster size pile up on both fronts, I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions trying to juggle all the responsibilities and failing miserably in some areas.

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster.  And then you get off, and your life realizes there is no line and it pulls you forcefully to the exit so you both can jump back on again.  And after seven times, you start to feel a little nauseous.  Life, on the other hand, is yelling "Weeeeeee" as you go down the 90 degree drop. 

But that's life, isn't it?  Unpredictable and unwilling to slow down so that we can catch up?

So much happened this week.

I went to an amazing concert with Carly (you remember her, right?  She guest-posted on my blog last month).  Ani DiFranco.  She's been around forever and as my new friend, Ann, so eloquently said, "she takes the scenic route with emotions, but it's not annoying."  Ani DiFranco is an amazing writer.  The two songs she performed that were my favorite:  32 Flavors and Fuel.


Late Saturday morning, I took Abbi to take the exam to get her driver's permit.  It wasn't the most brilliant idea I've ever had.  It was a zoo.  A million people were there and it was loud.  She didn't pass the exam, so she needs to study a little more and we need to go back.  Perhaps another day when everyone else within a 30 miles radius isn't also there.

On Sunday, I spent the day with my brother, Nathan, and my two nieces, Alexis and Ashley.  As a birthday and Christmas gift, we pick a show we want to see.  Last year we saw Phantom of the Opera.  This year we got tickets to see Matilda at the Oriental Theatre.  We got downtown early, like 9:00 am so that we could walk around downtown and have lunch before the performance at 2:00 pm.  I realize that I only live about 40 miles from Chicago, but I have not ever seen the "bean" or Millenium Park.  I know, there's no excuse.

The "bean" was really interesting!  It reminded me of a giant funhouse mirror - distorting the reflection you see.  I just had some thoughts on that, but I'll save it for another blogpost. :)


It was fun, and even though it was a bit rainy, it was wonderful to be downtown.

The Chicago River

Everywhere I looked I could see potential photo opportunities.  I love symmetry in photos - like in this one.    All the buildings line up, the lampposts line up, the parked cars line up, and the oversized concrete flowerpots line up.  It made my heart sing.  Seriously.

We had lunch at a restaurant, Park Grill, right under the "bean."  I love when my brother says, "Order whatever you want."  Alexis, Ashley and I all grinned at each other.  So this is what I ordered and it was delicious.  About as delicious as the Beer battered cheese curds we ordered as an appetizer and the molten chocolate cookie we shared for dessert. 

Seared Ahi Tuna

We saw Matilda, and I don't know if you have ever read the book  or have ever seen the movie (with the very funny Danny DeVito), but it's a story about a girl who is faced with incredible adversity, and despite the lack of love she receives from her family, she maintains a sunny outlook on life and seeks solace in books and her imagination.  And she perseveres in the end because she uses her brain to face her demons.  Matilda creates a plan, musters courage, advocates for herself and all the right things line up and fall into place for her.

There's a lesson here, isn't there?

41/52

Space.



There are actually some very brilliant things about space.  For one thing, it helps you determine where one word ends and another begins.  The whole hashtag revolution really can mess with you before you start to get the hang of it.  #amItheonlyone #mybrainhasahardtimecreatingspacewherethereisnospace

Another thing about space is it allows you time to process and transition while you are reading.  Do you ever look at a long paragraph and get overwhelmed even before you start reading it?  I prefer shorter paragraphs.  Maybe I don't follow all the rules with writing, but my hope is always that as I change tracks and train of thought, you're able to follow along.

Space is also infinite.  There are billions of stars and millions of miles in between them - even though they look so close to each other from here on Earth.  But it goes on forever.  When you sit on a summer night at stare up at the sky, you realize just how big the world really is and just how small you really are. 

Space is also helpful between siblings.  I think it's why they invented captain's chairs in vans and minivans.  When my brother and I were growing up, we had a conversion van and very often we had this conversation:  this is your space, and this is my space.  You stay in your space, and I'll stay in my space.  (Not that he ever listened - LOL)

There can be the perception that space can be uncomfortable.  Think about conversations.  Sometimes people will try to fill silence because it seems awkward.  Sometimes it's good to process, to think, to analyze, to transition, to discover, to dream.  It can be like the space in between paragraphs in a book.  Some space can also prevent you from a knee-jerk reaction.  We're human and we can jump to conclusions or allow our emotions to overrule logic in a situation. 

Space can give you time to think.  Really think.  It can give you perspective, it can give you hope, it can confirm something you already know or help you realize that maybe you were wrong about it. It gives you the chance to change your mind.  Take a step back, create some space between you and whatever or whoever. 


So in short, space can be good. 

This space here is on a farm.  It doesn't look like much now.  There, in fact, isn't much to even work with in this picture.  Usually on the other side of the fence (to the left) are cows.  On the right side of this space are horses. 

But I cannot wait to come back to this farm in the summer.  The owner of this property doesn't keep any animals in this space.  Likely in a few weeks, though, they will work the soil and plant seeds.  They will water them and take care of them.  The last two summers there have been tall and stunning sunflowers in this space.  SUNFLOWERS.  Giant, strong, beautiful sunflowers.  I wish I had a picture to show you (how many times had I driven by wishing I had my camera?!).  Y'all, I really hope that this year is no different.  I hope it's not too late to be able to show you the beauty that comes from this space.  How the sunflowers face the sun and follow it through the sky during the day...

So sometimes space is necessary.  It might feel awkward at first.  It might not look like much at first.  You might feel inclined to fill that space with just anything, but resist, until you've really had time to think about it.  Just try.  Because space allows for things to grow if only you plant the seeds and take care of it.

40.6/52

Pike's Peak is a grand 14,115 feet above sea level.  It's website says is one of America's favorite summits and stand about 8,000 feet higher than other mountains in the area.  Where we're from (in Illinois) is 725 feet above sea level.  That's a bit of a difference.

Today we drove up Pike's Peak.  It's about a 19 mile drive, twisting and turning - mostly without guardrails.  We got to drive up to about mile 13.  The air gets thinner (for real, you get winded just walking a short distance) and your ears pop as you ascend and descend.  The other thing we noticed here is the headaches.  Like someone or something is squeezing your head or your helmet is too tight.  LOL

It was snowing at the top of the mountain, so they closed the road beyond mile 13.  Brian swears that with the Highlander's all-wheel drive and differential lock (whatever that is), we could have gone further, but okay, we'll follow the rules and turn around and head back down the mountain.

Since I had taken about 200 pictures at the zoo yesterday (I bet you couldn't tell that I took a lot of pictures at the zoo - LOL), I took some pictures off my memory card and loaded them onto the laptop.  Guess who left the memory card IN THE LAPTOP when we left for the mountain.  Ugh.

So all these pictures are taken with a iPhone.  Not too bad really.

Isaac, Abbi, Brian, me, and Emma

Those little white speckles?  That's snow.  :)

The website indicated that you should allow about two hours to get up the mountain.  I thought, wow, that's a long time.  But then when you see the view (and how it changes in a short distance), I can see why.  We pulled over to take pictures every few minutes.  Ha!!

The views were amazing all around.  Throw in a few cute kids and you might possibly have next year's Christmas card!

Abbi (and her great hair day), Emma and Isaac

Even the Crystal Reservoir was photogenic. 

Can someone remind me why I live in Illinois?