50/52

Wow.  Week 50.  My "Project 52" is almost finished.  I can't believe I got this far!

What happens next??

Oh my gosh, seriously, I don't know.  I have two weeks to figure it out.  14 days.  I'm feeling like I need to engage "Project 14" so that I can brainstorm ideas, create a vision and a plan and then implement it.  LOL

I could just keep doing what I'm doing.  I could do something similar.  I could do something more challenging - I mean, that was kind of the point for this.  To challenge myself to use my camera more often - to get out of automatic mode and work on taking pictures in manual mode, where you have a little more control over the settings.

Or I could do something completely different.  But what??

Completely different can be scary.  What if it doesn't turn out to be a good idea?  What if it just plain sucks?  What if I do it all wrong?  What if no on likes it?  What if no one reads it?

These are the voices in my head.  And they can be so loud - so hard to ignore.  SO ANNOYING! So I yell, "SHUT UP!" (I think this may the only time my mom would forgive me for saying that) and hope that because that is generally startling, that those voices will pipe down for once.

And I don't think that it's necessarily that those voices are mean or malicious.  They just want to keep me safe.  They want to keep me from experiencing failure, rejection, disappointment, and frustration.  Things that I don't really enjoy feeling.  And what better way to do that than to have me just stay right where I am, in my comfort zone, doing everything the way I've always done it (and with the corresponding results).  So if the voices can stop me from experiencing all those seemingly negative feelings, they have so much less work to do.  And they like it that way because they are LAZY.

I think back to the last few times I've tried something new and I was scared and it didn't go exactly the way I planned.  I had to talk myself off the ledge.  The voices in my head had to reassure me that it was going to be okay, that the world wasn't going to end because of this, that no one was going to think less of me.  That is SO MUCH WORK for them.

And they would just rather be tuned out watching Youtube videos like this one: Fenton the dog!

And yesterday, at the Tower Hill Stables Schooling Show, these awesome girls from Escapar Farm pushed beyond any scary thoughts about being on large horses and jumping over fences.

Hannah and Ruby

Emma and Savannah

Maggie and Indie

Halsey and Riley

Lexi and Riley

Lauren and Rango

Our girls did an amazing job at the show this weekend.  And while observing other riders and trainers, I think A LOT of that has to do with our trainer, Tasha.  She is encouraging; offering reminders (and sometimes multiple reminders) to the girls in a direct way, but without insulting them, belittling them, or making them feel bad.  And I think that Tasha does a great job of pushing them out of their comfort zone (like asking Emma to participate in a more challenging event that she wasn't planning to - where she ended up winning first place!) and feeling confident that they can handle it.

P.S. Georgia, I'm so sorry I didn't get any pictures of you on Savannah this time!  I promise to next time!  :)

49/52

Happy Summer!!

Emma has a big week this week!  Last weekend was the first horse show of the series and she and Savannah did great!

Emma and Savannah schooling for the derby. Photo credit: Koch R Lee

Emma and Savannah warming up first thing in the morning on Sunday.

She also graduated from eighth grade on Wednesday evening, making me the mom of two high school girls.   Oh my.

Look at how big her smile is!

To kick off summer, we went camping.  I should tell you, though, it isn't really camping.  My mom and Papa invite us up to their place - with air conditioning, a shower, real beds and a full kitchen.  So I'm calling it camping, but the only thing campy about it is the campfire and the s'mores.

We approve of the new square shaped marshmallows! 

The forecast at the end of last week for the weekend was bleak.  It was calling for rain, storms, wind - not very fun weather for camping - even for my altered version of camping.  So we were really expecting to be cooped up inside the trailer all weekend with movies and games.  And we've had plenty of those kinds of Memorial weekends before - and we've made the best of them.  But other than a short downpour on Saturday evening, the weather this weekend was fantastic!

Abbey (yes, we have changed the spelling.  Again.) and Zoey (who has never changed the spelling of her name).

We woke up Sunday morning so excited because Alexis was joining us for the day.  So we painted birdhouses, went to the beach, played four square, and jammed in as many campy activities as we could while she was there!

Alexis and Abigail enjoying the sun.  I love that you can see the clouds in the reflection of their sunglasses.

And even though the water temperature was as cold as the ice in a cooler at the lake, we still enjoyed the beach. I mean, look at this smile.  

My nephew, Luke!

This is the best start to every summer.  My mom and Papa feed us amazing food, we play games and have so much fun!  

Jacob, Luke, Emma, Gramma, Abbey, Isaac and Alexis

So so so many thanks to my mom and Papa for hosting all of us!!  :)

48/52

Happy Monday people!  What a fantastic and summery weekend we had! 

Do you know who this girl is?

As you can see from the red digital date on the photo, this was taken in June, 1999.  Almost 17 years ago.  

She had just graduated from kindergarten and we all went to Colonial Cafe for ice cream to celebrate.  Because when you are the first grandchild, everything gets celebrated.  LOL  Brian and I had gotten her some little gifts to kick off the summer right.  Including these goggles. 

This same girl, my niece Alexis, graduated from William Rainey Harper College on Saturday.  She studied to be a paralegal, and has a full-time paralegal position at a law firm where she has been a receptionist and intern for a while now.

This girl is my oldest niece - an absolute ray of sunshine in our family.  She has mastered the art of making you feel like you are the most important person in the room - and that she has been waiting far too long to see you.  Her personality is larger than life - she throws herself fully into everything she does. 

She is silly and honest and she works hard.  And even though she has been through a lot - missing almost half of her sophomore year in high school due to a severe and largely unexplained illness - she perseveres, has a contagious laugh and is absolutely adorable.  She's unapologetically passionate and fights for what she believes in, which is why it's so great that she is in the field that she's in.  It's perfect for her.

So watch out world, Alexis has her Starbucks, her new Michael Kors handbag and she is HERE.

And I'm so proud to be her Auntie.   :)

I was very excited to appear taller than her in this photo, but then I realized I was wearing heels and she was not.  

47/52

This weekend, Carly and I went to my aunt and uncle's lake house in Wisconsin.  The original vision was to take advantage of the Friday the 13th and do scary stories, a campfire and s'mores on Friday night.  It was cold and rainy, so there was no campfire, no scary stories and no s'mores.  There was, however, Noodles and Company, margaritas and The Devil Wears Prada.  Just as good, right?

Carly is vegan, so eating with her can be tricky.  We did realize that we were very close to Milwaukee and she had been to a cute Mexican place, called Cafe Corazon, that served a mexican brunch - with a few vegan options.  This is a luxury for Carly.  She often gets one choice on a regular restaurant menu that she can eat.

Bloody Mary & Pink Grapefruit Margarita (photo credit to Carly)

After we enjoyed brunch, we went to the Mitchell Park Domes. It was a cold and windy day - the high temperature was only 48 degrees.  Silly us for thinking that because it was the middle of May that we might have warmish weather to be able to spend time outside. 

There are three domes, but only one was open - the Show dome.  The domes are conservatories, climate-controlled environments for plants of all kinds.  The whole concept of a conservatory allows plants and flowers to grow and thrive, be protected from the elements and receive a maximum amount of sunshine.

All the conditions inside the dome were perfect - a little warm, a little humid and lots of space for the flowers to grow.  There was even a spot for the garden fairies.

We knocked on the door, but no one was home.

It was a beautiful place.  The colors were bright and vibrant.  It was calm and peaceful inside the dome.  Even with the small waterfall at one end of the pool, the water was remarkably reflective.

This place gave me an idea.  I need to have an environment for myself that creates an atmosphere of growth.  

After the domes, we decided to go on an adventure to the Mary Nohl House in Fox Point.  Mary, who passed away in 2001, was long thought of as a witch while she independently lived, spending 50 years transforming her yard into a sculptured work of art.  One article I read said this: "She was a single woman in society who carved her own path.  It is no coincidence that she was labeled a witch."

Little did we know that it is currently under construction, which means all the statues are protected and covered with plywood.

Fox Point Art Yard - Under construction and due to reopen in the Fall of 2016.

What you can't see in this picture is that this house is situated FEET from Lake Michigan.  Just past the left frame of this photo is the lake.  What an amazing and inspiring location for a unique home like this.

I could focus on the disappointment of the weather, the two domes being closed, or the "witch's house" being under construction. Our day didn't go according to plan.  I could have allowed it to ruin the whole weekend. 

Not a very beachy shoreline of Lake Michigan

Or I can focus on the beauty and the strength of the flowers in the conservatory.  Focus on the idea that if I can surround myself with sunshine and keep myself protected from the elements, get grounded in good soil, I can grow too.

I can focus on the journey - the adventure.  How we got there.  What we saw.  What we learned.  What revelations we had.  The beauty in the small things.  The courage we had to just get where we were.  The way we started to see ourselves differently.

I can focus on the idea that maybe Carly and I were supposed to go to the Mary Nohl House, even if we didn't get to see the sculptures.  To see that she left her mark on the world - and how she did it - despite the open criticism and doubt from others.  She believed in what she was doing, and that was enough for her.  And while a flood damaged the home in 2010, it was being renovated - the sculptures being protected on the outside, and more of her art being protected on the inside, so that the pieces that she created with love and available resources can be shared once again.

46/52

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day!  Ours was fabulous!

We had gorgeous weather all weekend and we took advantage of it, for sure!  Which is why I'm doing laundry today.  There was no way I was staying indoors to do laundry. 

On Saturday, Isaac wanted to show off his skateboarding skills at the skate park.  He'll be ten this year.  I can't believe how much he has grown up.  Every mom must go through this, but it seemed like only yesterday he was toddling around with his blanket and his thumb in his mouth reciting the words to "How Do Dinosaurs Say Good Night?"  And today he going down ramps with amazing courage.

Sunday, Brian let me decide what we did for the day. So we walked around Fabyan Park before lunch at Portillo's so I could enjoy cheese fries and a slice of chocolate cake.  There were lots of opportunities to stop and take pictures.  And no one complained!  :)

I'm too cool to smile, Mom.

All my children :)

Yes, we brought Zoey.  Brian didn't want to - he knows that strangers cause her a lot of anxiety and he doesn't like to voluntarily put her through that, but I pulled the "it's my day" card and she got to go with us. 

What are YOU looking at?

For the most part, everyone got along.  There was a tiny dandelion incident, but once we took care of that, everyone enjoyed each others company.  The sisters were silly and fun to photograph. 

Abbi had her first behind-the-wheel driving experience this weekend.  Talk about growing up.  About an hour before her lesson, we sat in the Highlander.  We moved the seat, the mirrors and identified all the important gauges and gadgets.  Her instructor said that she did an amazing job - driving on some "big" roads doing 45 miles per hour.  I'm hoping she gets her driving skills from Brian instead of me.  If you know me, you know that I'm a great driver, unless there are other cars around.  Then it's questionable. 

Emma and Elpida

After lunch, I went with Emma to the barn.  She was asked to ride two horses.  I love that she is trusted by horse owners to do this.  These horses are large and can be forceful, but with Emma they are gentle and respectful.  It's amazing to watch how they respond to her.  Emma used to be a very quiet and meek child, sometimes I could barely hear her.  But with the horses, she has to speak up - and she does.  Her confidence has grown and she never turns down an opportunity to ride. 

And so while she was tacking them up and rehydrating and untacking them, I got to love them and pet them. 

Friday night when we picked up Emma from the barn, she took Carly and I back to the paddock to see some of the horses.  As the sun was setting, Savannah and Emma made a wish with the dandelion.  Well, right after I took this picture, Emma made a wish; Savannah ate it. 

Many thanks to all of my family, especially Brian, for making my day so special.  I love you so much!!

45/52

Can I be honest with you?

The amount of mental energy required to write this blog is almost more than I can handle today.  But I intended to get this written before Monday, so here I am.

It's Spring.  The rain ALL day yesterday confirms it.  But the flowering trees are gorgeous.  You really have to enjoy them while you can, because they don't last nearly long enough.  I find that I often take these blooms for granted - and then miss them terribly when they are gone. 

When someone asks about my favorite flower, I can't name just one.  Gerbera daisies, black-eyed Susans, sunflowers and dandelions are at the top of my list.  There is a common theme here.  They are all yellow.  Is that a coincidence, do you think?

I don't think it's a secret that I love dandelions.  I even love the way the word looks and how it sounds.  Dandelions. Dan-de-lions.  Say it out loud and tell me that it doesn't sound lovely.  

They are amazing little things really, blooming a beautiful yellow color until they mature.   And then the magic happens.  The yellow flower turns into a white fluffy seed head.  The seed head is a bunch of little parachutes for the seeds.  And once you make your wish or the wind blows, those parachutes fly away, carrying those little dandelion seeds all over.  You can't tell me that isn't incredible.  I mean, what other flower can you make wishes on??

But then there are people, like Brian, who spend all summer keeping dandelions out of their yards.  Because technically, Brian reminds me every Spring, dandelions aren't flowers, they are weeds.  What??!!  How can weeds be so beautiful, so magical, full of hopes and dreams??  How can they deceive you into thinking they are wonderful and amazing flowers, but they are not??

But Wikipedia does confirm that they are weeds - like the ones that choke the life out of the grass or gardens around it.  And if you make a lot of wishes, then you will end up with hundreds of dandelions soon.  Which is good in my opinion, but infuriating for Brian, since he is the one in charge of the yard and has to pull them all out by the root.  That's the only way to get rid of the weeds.  Because if you leave any parts of the root there, it will grow back - with a vengeance.  Regular maintenance and hard work is what it takes to make your lawn or garden healthy and weed-free.  If you ignore it, it will get out of control, and the weeds will take over.

Which brings me to this adorable, unassuming house.  It's charming (and I see they have a few wish-making creations in their yard), but it's what is on the SIDE of the house that I'm in love with.  

There are so many things about this that I love.  First of all, what a canvas!  The side of your house.  The second thing that I love is that it's intentional.  This side of the house doesn't look like the rest of it.  And third, they used this canvas to display words of wisdom.  For people like me walking by to enjoy and take in. 

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." ~Voltaire

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." ~Aldous Huxley

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."  ~Jimi Hendrix (although with a little research, it seems he may not have been the originator of this quote).  

So even though I can try to ignore the fact that dandelions are weeds, they are still weeds.  And maybe it's the idea of dandelions that I love more than anything.  That you can make wishes and put all your energy into hoping they come true.  But that's just a fairy tale - it's not the truth.  Because the fact is, if you're wishing for something, you're gonna have to speak up and do work to make it happen. 

Do you have any words of wisdom that you live by??

I would love for you to comment below! It's simple - you just need to have a google account to do so (and you have to be signed in).  If you don't have one, click here!  Easy peasy. 
 

 

44/52

This week I got to spend some time in Florida with my very good friend, Nicole.  Nicole and I went to the same high school and sang in choir together.  We hadn't kept in touch after high school, but about 6 years ago, her daughter and my little guy, Isaac, were in the same preschool class.  Isaac had a speech delay, but oh, how he loved to talk about Emilie.  Whether or not Emilie liked him as much as he liked her, I'll never know, but she was so kind and polite to him.

It always surprises me how small the world really is.  That she and I would have moved to this area at the same time, and had our children enrolled in the same preschool class.  She recognized me one day after class and we have been close ever since.

Neither of us have ever done a "girls getaway" before.  Between work and kids and all kinds of responsibilities and juggling schedules, it just seemed impossible.  But finally, we sat down, compared calendars and made it happen.

 
And I'm so glad we did.  We had absolutely NO agenda.  No responsibilities.  No one to take care of but ourselves.  We got up each morning, had breakfast and then put on our suits and sat at the beach ALL afternoon.  We read, we talked, we enjoyed the view from the beach chairs.  We reapplied sunscreen, we listened to the waves crash against the rocks and we talked some more.  When we had enough, we showered and went to dinner.  After walking along the boardwalk, we went back to our room and then fell asleep so we could do it all again the next day.

There were these groups of large rocks spaced out on the shoreline - I'd say every 50 - 60 feet or so.  I'm not sure why they were there, but they were beautiful.  Couple that with the blue sky and the turquoise waters and that view from the beach chairs was breathtaking.  It's hard not to contemplate life while you are sitting on a beach with one of your very best friends with a view of the ocean and the sound of the waves.  The things that matter most to you start to really come into focus.  Thoughts about your dreams and hopes and goals roll in and out like the waves.  You start to really think about how decisions you've made along the way have shaped your life and affected those around you.  You start to forget the complexity of your troubles, and the vision for your life seems so simple, so obvious, and so achievable. 

There was no way to resist climbing on some of the rocks to take pictures.

And maybe that's what relaxing is supposed to do.  Give you time and space to recharge your batteries so you can go back to your real life and face things head on and make changes where changes need to be made.  Give you that opportunity to reflect on what's happening in your life and think about what's working and what's not.  And then give you the chance to dream those big dreams.

The waves were fairly large every day we were there.  But on the last day, the rip current was dangerous, so they put up a Danger sign.  I will admit - the tide was higher, the waves were bigger and it was windier than any of the other days we were there.  The ocean looked chaotic, tumultuous and not the pretty turquoise color we had seen yesterday and the day before.

I felt like the sign was a warning - "You're about to go back to your real life, be prepared!"  Both Nicole and I felt like we were thrust back into reality once we stepped out of the black Suburban that brought us home.  Unpacking, doing laundry, and figuring out what to make for dinner stared at us as we walked in the door.  But armed with three days of relaxing in the sunshine with palm trees, we were ready to stare right back. 


Before we left, we found a group of rocks that would be easy to climb to take a few pictures.  This was my favorite of Nicole.  

Nicole is one of those down-to-earth people that I can tell anything to and she gets it.  She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out.  It's impossible not to love her.  She genuinely cares for people.  She is easy-going and fun to be around.  It's obvious that her family is important to her; Nicole and I helped Emilie with centimeters, meters and millimeters (I think?) homework and I adored hearing her read the bedtime devotional to her kids before bed each night.

She and I are both directionally challenged so it must have been a treat for anyone watching us get off the elevator when we started to walk in the wrong direction, or tried to find our rental car in the wrong parking lot.  We laughed, we cried, we talked, we listened and we sat in silence.  We aren't afraid to ask each other the hard questions.  You know, like, "Where are we going for dinner?"

Love you, Nicole, and thanks for being by my side this week.  :)