31/52

Maybe you noticed that my blog has a new title.  I think it better reflects the goal of my blog, don't you?


A couple months ago, I let Abbi know that she needed to sign up for an activity.  We had taken a bit of a break once she started high school because she wanted to make sure that she could handle her homework and projects.  And while I can understand the anxiety, she's done just fine.  

Abbi has done lots of activities (usually involving water because we are convinced that she is part fish).  I'll admit, I was surprised at her choice.  Ice skating.  We've only ice skated maybe twice ever in her life.  It can be difficult to be a fifteen year old beginner skating with kids half your age.  There were so many tiny people sliding and falling on the ice around her.  But she did it and she did it with a smile. 

Waiting to get on the ice.

When was the last time you tried something new? Learned a new skill?  Developed a positive habit?  Tried a new food?

I'm trying something new.  Well maybe its a few things.  And I'm telling you all about it.  I'm learning to trust myself more, turning negative thoughts into positive thoughts, and not letting outside things affect me so much. 

I've always been indecisive.  And while I haven't exactly pinpointed why, it's likely that it comes from not being able to trust myself to make a good decision.  What ifs loom in my mind.  Consequences of the decision swirl around my head.  It brings to light all kinds of questions.  Do I have all the information?   Is there something else I haven't considered?  Could there be something else going on here?  It's enough to paralyze you into doing nothing.  Or better yet, have someone else make the decision for you.  At some point, though, I must learn to make my own decisions.  Trust that I have all the information, trust that I've considered all the options, and be willing to deal with what happens next. 

It can be easy to listen to all those negative thoughts in your head.  Or even outside your head.  We are bombarded with images of size 0 celebrities with salon perfect hair and makeup.  Who are wearing designer outfits and coordinating boots.  Or even closer to home (and reality), the women who look all put together - who have handsome, attentive husbands with their well dressed and well mannered children.  Driving their luxury SUV and living in their custom built McMansion. Don't get me wrong, I have no judgment here.  I only say this because I live in a neighborhood where this is what you see all around you.  You feel like you have to live up to this.  You have to be this version of perfect on the outside.  And oh, I'm so not.  But instead of feeling defeated by this or feeling like I'm not _____ enough, I'm learning to be okay with it.  I'm real.  I actually had three people tell me that last week.  It was kind of bizarre considering I don't know that anyone has ever said that to me before, but I'm thankful.  I don't want to be fake or pretend I'm something I'm not.  I've never been good at that, and I suppose that's a good thing.

Remember last week I told you about carrying your own weather?  I saw something my friend Cindy posted on Facebook this week.  I loved it.   It's a new word: Unf*ckwithable.  It's an adjective and here's the definition: when you're truly at peace and in touch with yourself, and nothing anyone says or does bothers you, and no negativity or drama can touch you.  This is what I want to be. 


So grab a friend and try something new!!  Friends will always support you, listen to you and be there for you - whether you are learning to turn negative thoughts into positive ones or your falling all over the place on the ice.  I'm pretty lucky to have some absolutely wonderful and fantabulous friends. 

And speaking of fantabulous friends, I want to introduce you to one of Isaac's very best friends.  Her name is Katie.  She is one of the non-family kids I adore the most on the planet.  She and Isaac have been friends since kindergarten.  They are great and silly together.  I've heard of stories of Katie helping Isaac clean out his desk and Isaac helping Katie carry her books.  For the last three years, Katie has made it on Isaac's birthday party invite list.  I even recently had a long-term substitute teacher ask me "what's the deal with Katie and Isaac?" I'm not sure that this kind of friendship, loyalty and craziness is typically seen in third grade.  This week, it's Katie's birthday.  So happy birthday Katie!

This is what happens when you tell them to lean in together and you lean to the right to show them. 

So a few of you got on me a little bit today about not having my blog post up sooner.  I'm sorry it's late.  I played a couple quick games of Jenga with the kids tonight after dinner.  I'll try to get back to posting on Sundays! 

I'd love for you to leave a comment.  What new thing are you going to try?  Do you like the new blog title?

30/52

Sunday morning, Isaac and I made breakfast.  We made the bacon first.  While we were waiting, we noticed that the sun was shining into the kitchen.  Because there is a bit of smoke from the bacon, you could see the sun rays so very clearly.   Once the bacon was done, Isaac wanted to help me with the sunny-side-up eggs.  He wanted to break the eggs into the pan.  We were making three eggs.  He broke the first egg perfectly.  He broke the second egg right on top of the first egg and the yolk breaks.  Same thing happened with the third.

Sun rays and breakfast make me happy.  Well the bacon makes me happy.

We sat at the table and he looks at my broken yolked eggs.  Here was how the conversation went.

Isaac: "Next time I will do it better."
Me: "It just takes more practice."
Isaac: "Practice makes perfect.  Well, perfect-ish. Nobody can be perfect.  Except for being yourself.  You can be perfect at being yourself."

I think about this.  It makes me remember what a VP I used to work with told me once "There is only one you... everyone else is already taken."

Oh my goodness.  She's right.  Isaac's right.  I'm perfectly imperfect.

Sounds tidy, doesn't it?  Almost something to be celebrated?  Well, yes and no.

So let's embrace this thought.  I am perfectly imperfect. I'm human and I make mistakes, I say stupid stuff and I feel things that maybe I shouldn't.  But all with the intention of being the best version of me I can be.  Essentially doing my best to be perfect.  Aren't I the plumb line?  Because I'll be honest, I judge others based on what I would do.  Ugh. That sounds terrible, doesn't it?  It's not like I think I AM perfect.  But I judge my actions by my intentions (and I think everyone else should too - LOL). Because I know what my intentions are.  And I know they're pure - where they are coming from.  And I understand them.  But you don't get this benefit.  Because you can't see my intentions or my complicated emotions for that matter.  You rely on me to communicate my intentions and those complicated emotions.  Something I'm not very good at.   

And what if you flip it around?  I don't know your intentions.  So I can only judge by your actions and words.  I came across this quote recently, "You'll end up really disappointed if you go through life thinking people will do for you as you do for them.  Not everyone has the same heart as yours." You can't expect that everyone follows your plumb line or the Golden Rule. 

And because I'm not the only one that's imperfect, and feeling all this, there are all kinds of things that can go wrong.  So what do we do about it?

Well you do have to remember that there is only one you.  And you are special (oh my gosh, do I sound like your mom yet?).  You have to take time to just be you.  To find what brings you joy and happiness.  You cannot rely on anyone else to give that to you.  Not your significant other, not your kids, not your friends, and no one in your family.

In my former life, I taught a class based on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.  It was amazing.  I loved it and incorporated a lot of the ideas into my life.  I haven't taught the class in several years, so these great ideas have slipped a bit.  But there is a concept that Stephen Covey talks about - called Carry Your Own Weather.  The idea is that regardless of what is happening around you, you get to choose how you respond.  The sun doesn't always shine.  

Seems like it could be, should be, easy.  And maybe sometimes it is; it sort of falls in your lap.  And other times you have to look harder or make your own "sunshine."  Sunday, it was bitterly cold.  So I made Isaac and I hot chocolate after we went to church.  The amount of whip cream in our hot chocolate definitely made us both happy.

Hot chocolate makes me happy!

I also had half of a slice of Portillo's chocolate cake.  That made me happy too.  I would've taken a picture, but.... I ate it before I thought of that.

Then we made chocolate chip cookies.  I finally found the dairy-free chocolate chips so I could make some for Brian too.  They were actually really good!

We made chocolate chip cookies.  Spending time in the kitchen makes me happy too!

So it sure sounds like food - chocolate, namely, makes me happy.  This is true.  Good thing I'm teaching Pound class five times a week.  LOL

So this week, find your joy.  Give yourself permission to do it.  Shine your way.   And if all else fails, eat chocolate.  ;)

29/52

For the longest time, we were saying that Winter is coming (any other Game of Thrones geeks out there excited that Season 6 starts April 24??!!).  Well, it's here.  Really here.  Snow, frigid temperatures, missing gloves, salted driveways and sidewalks - it's all here.

I try to love Winter.  Really I do.  I don't mind the snow (as long as I don't have to drive in it).  I think the snow is pretty - especially when it covers the tree branches.  My neighbor asked me a very important question this morning as we were waiting at the end of my driveway, aka the bus stop, "Why do we live here?" I don't know, man, I don't know.

My kids love Winter for the sledding.  Zoey loves the snow because it's another source of cold liquid refreshment.

Sunday morning Isaac, Zoey and I went for a Winter hike on my favorite trail.   Was it cold? Yes.  Did I really feel like going outside with the wind chill? Nope.  But we did it.  All for this photo. 

My favorite dog, my favorite boy and my favorite bridge

Kids will happily go out in this weather to go sledding.  Even though it's cold. And they have to walk up the hill after every trip down.  They place a lot of value on the exhilaration of that few-second ride down a hill.  It's worth it to them.

Unlike the gratification that kids get when sledding, we probably don't see such immediate results with our goals.  But we need to place more value on getting there and the results we want!  I want to encourage you today.  Believe in yourself.  Don't give up.  Give yourself permission to do this for you.  Fight the excuses.  There will always be something else you could be doing.  And you'll probably never FEEL like doing it.

The company I work for recently had a Women in Leadership event and Mel Robbins was the keynote speaker.  She has a 5 second rule.  We aren't talking about the "if you drop food on the floor and pick it up within 5 seconds, you can eat it" rule.  Ew. Gross.  Just no.  This is the "DO something before your brain talks you out of it" rule. 

Here she is on YouTube.

Now she's not saying, "hey, if you have the idea that you should work out today, you should drop everything in 5 seconds and make it happen." That's not it at all.  She is saying take a step in that direction. And that's key because the first step can be the hardest.

I am reminded of when I was in high school and was part of the Boy Scout Explorer Program to explore a career in firefighting.  We took a trip to Devil's Head State Park and went repelling. Repelling is like the opposite of rock climbing - you are going down.  We learned how to tie our own knots and then used that rope to repel over the edge.  I don't think the fall from the top of the rocks would've killed us, but we would've broken a lot of things.  I was super excited for this trip.  We planned out the details and made sure that we thought of everything.  My nerves didn't set in until we hiked to the top of the cliff.  I watched the others go over.  I let a few more people go ahead of me.  It was finally my turn.  All of a sudden that was the last place I wanted to be.  I wanted to crawl under rock.  If I had been the only one there, I would've gone back.  I'm sure I thought of a million other things I could've been doing instead.  But my troop encouraged me.  I saw that others survived just fine.  I had a friend help me in the harness and double check my knots.  I was all set.  But the rest was up to me.  All I had to do was walk to the edge, lean back and take that first step.  I walked to the edge and peered over.  The others that had already done it waved to me from the bottom.  Well that's a good sign.  They all survived.  It took me a long time to lean back over the edge (oh, geez, that makes me think of those trust exercises where you close your eyes and lean back and someone is supposed to catch you??).  Millimeter by millimeter, I moved my hands further down the rope until I was finally (barely) leaning over the edge.  You are balancing all your weight over the edge of the cliff and everything in your brain is telling you that you can't take that step because you are going to fall over the edge, but of course you won't because you have a harness and ropes in place.  But it took me FOREVER to take that first step.  My heart felt like it was beating outside of my chest.  My hands were trembling around the ropes.  My feet felt paralyzed.  Everyone there was encouraging me, telling me to just do it.  And finally I did it - when everyone rallied "on the count of three!"  That's all I needed.  Three seconds to get myself ready and set to do it.  Any more than that and I know I would've talked myself out of it.  Who knew there was something magical about the count of three?  Mel Robbins.  She apparently knew. 

After that first frightening step, I loved it.  And afterwards, I felt silly for taking so long to get over the edge. 

So what's holding you back?  What are you afraid of?  Let's do this  - on the count of three!

28/52

To be...

Faster, Stronger, Healthier, Happier

Don't be fooled.  To get to my goal (and yours for that matter), there is no "easy" button.  There is no magic pill.  There is no genie in a bottle.  If you want to be faster, stronger, healthier, happier (or fill in the blank with what you want) - you have to DO something to make that happen.  You have to shift your paradigm - you have to think differently.  You will have to commit to making it a priority and work hard.  You will have to make sacrifices and convince yourself it's worth it.  You may have to be creative with your time and let some things go.  And only YOU can make it happen. Procrastinating or ignoring it will not change anything.  Wishing on a star isn't going to make your goals and dreams come true.  Making excuses or complaining about it won't change anything.  And a pity party is not going to help either.

Will it be easy?  No.  Will I want to give up?  Probably.  Will I fall off the bandwagon?  It's likely.
But I won't quit - and you shouldn't either.  I have an army of supporters.  My family, my friends, my Pound girls.  They are all encouraging.  They are inspiring.  They show up.  They care and they'll pull me back onto the bandwagon.

So here's what I'm saying.  Do a few things for yourself:

1. Set a goal - your resolution for the new year - but make it realistic.  One you think you can stick with.  Small beginnings are still beginnings.  You'll build momentum as you go along.  And then you can dream bigger.
2. Put it on your calendar.  Block time out to make this happen.
3.  Find someone that can help you stay accountable and be a cheerleader.  That's a big piece of this puzzle.  Someone that won't be afraid to razz you a little bit if you start to make excuses.  If you can find someone that has a similar goal, that's even better, but it's definitely not required.
4. And if you're like me, if it's out of sight, it can be out of mind.  So put things around you that will remind you of your goal - something on your lock screen on your phone, something on your fridge, or on a post it note on your computer monitor.

And I'll make this offer to you - if you need someone to help you stay accountable or to be a cheerleader for you - I'm here.  I want to help.  No matter what your goal is, I am happy to cheer you on (or razz you if necessary)!


I still don't necessarily know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know what I want to be for 2016.

As I was helping Abbi clean out some old stuff in her room yesterday, we came across a notebook with this quote on it: At any given moment, you have the power to say "This is NOT how the story is going to end."

What's your story and how do you want it to end?

27/52

I hope you and yours had a wonderful Christmas.  We did!

On Saturday we celebrated with my Dad's side of the family.  It's almost all of them - a few of you wonderful people are missing! It's a lot of people I don't get to see often, so I'm glad that we do this every year. :) 

Front Row (L - R): me, Gia, Bella, Mike, Dylan. Second Row (L - R): Emma, Katie, Teri, Jennie and Lily, Luke and Brian. Third Row: Abbi, Alexis, Val, Rachel and Aidan, Shirley and Isaac, Marcy, Jacob and Kim. Back Row: Mike, Kari, Drew, Mike, Grant, Ian and Nathan.

As we wind down 2015, I am amazed at how fast the year went, how much the kids grew, and how much has changed.

I am more confident with my photography. I am a certified Pound Instructor.  I am 17 pounds lighter and several pants sizes smaller than I was this time last year. 

I am faster. I am stronger. I am healthier.

I am surrounded by wonderfully supportive family and friends (not that that is a big change, but it's amazing how much love you can feel when you open yourself up and let people into your world).  I've never been much of a new year's resolution kind of person.  I'm terribly impatient and so if there is something that I want to change or do - I have a hard time waiting until January 1 to do it.  But I get it if it's something you may be dreading - losing weight, eating healthier, working out more, managing your money better, giving back, etc.  Because even though there is something great at the end - there is this perception that you have to give something up to get there or that it's going to be a challenge to fit it into your already busy schedule or that it will be painful.  I won't lie, all that is completely true.  If you are making a new year's resolution to manage your money better, you won't be able to buy every single thing you think you want.  If you want to eat healthier and lose weight, convenient store snacks and candy won't get you there.  And if you want to be stronger, it won't happen unless you make the time to do weight training.

But I do find that we can be very good at making excuses or making things more difficult than they need to be.  This can happen for a variety of reasons - but we can talk about that another day.

While I may not be a new year's resolution person, I am a goal person. Not much different I guess - other than what date you start.  But you have to have a goal, a resolution, a destination.  I love this quote from the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland:  "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there." 

We can spin our wheels and be really busy doing stuff, but we'll get no where if we don't know exactly where we are going.  And sometimes we can start with a goal in mind (losing X amount of pounds), but then we realize that isn't really the goal we want. Maybe what we really want is to be healthier or to feel better about ourselves.  If we can achieve that without losing X pounds, we still win!  So it's okay to revise the goal once we get started.  It happened with me!  The first time I wrote out my goals, I wrote that I wanted to get down to 120 pounds.  For those of you that have seen me recently, the 17 pounds I have lost is pretty noticeable.  I think my goal was really to feel better about myself.  To like myself in pictures.  For me to lose another 13 pounds - to get down to 120 would probably make me look unhealthy.  So even though I'm not 120 pounds, I feel like I've achieved the goal of feeling better about myself because I'm stronger and healthier.

About 6 months ago, I created several goals for myself. Some of them I have accomplished.  Some of them I am making progress with.  And a few I haven't made any progress at all on.  Of course, I tend to focus on the ones I have failed on and grade myself on that...

But not today.

One of my biggest goals: This weekly photography blog.  Aside from a few delays, I've stuck with updating this blog every week.  Not only has it forced me to pick up my camera and practice, but I've gotten the opportunity to write and tell you all my story.

Another major goal: To become certified to teach Pound and lead classes.  I'm a certified Pound instructor - and I now teach 5 classes a week.  This has several benefits:

• I don't get to use the excuse "I don't feel like working out today."  People are depending on me to show up - I don't want to let them down!

• I have met so many wonderful friends through Pound - other instructors and ladies from my classes.  Their enthusiasm is contagious!

• I'm earning money to pay off some old credit card debt.  And getting rid of that debt is another goal I have.

• Every workout is a mini therapy session for me.  I'm sure you've heard that there are benefits to exercise.  Ever feel so frustrated with a situation that you feel like you need to hit something (or someone - LOL)?  I feel better and think better after a workout.

Another goal: Run two races.  And I did them both in October!   I did the Zombie Run with Brian and then ran This Run's for Jack.  I'm not a huge fan of running, but like with Pound, I always feel so much better after I do it.  And with anything you practice, you get better.  Maybe one day I'll like it.  Maybe. 

The last goal I feel I was pretty successful with was spending time with those that matter - my family and friends.  Date nights, girls nights, birthday parties, family gatherings - we did it all! And we're already planning all kinds of fun for 2016!
 

What are your goals for 2016?  Create a google account (or sign in) and comment below! 

26/52

Wow.  Week 26.  The official halfway point of my project - to post once a week for a year.  I can't believe it!

Every other year, my brother and I give my mom a special gift.  It's now a tradition.  We do a photo that includes both of our families. It's our goal to make her cry and it works every time.

The first one we did was back in 2006.  We went to Sears and decided that we would color coordinate with the black, gray and white.  In the end, I didn't actually love how that turned out.  I've seen color coordination work well, but this was not a very good example of it.  LOL

Isaac was only 6 months old and Luke was only a couple weeks old - and if I remember right, he slept through the entire photo shoot.

Somehow we missed 2008 (maybe because my family had just moved?), but we had my cousin, Melissa, take our picture in 2009.

Because sometimes cute little boys need to wear matching shirts.  

As we were scoping out this location in Schaumburg, there are some artistic elements to the park.  One of them is a statue of a woman laying in a hill - and her foot is sticking out. We couldn't resist.

Our very first silly photo

In 2011, we went back to Sears.  We had a great photographer!  He shmushed us all together to fit into this picture.  But I suppose we're a close family, and that's the way we like it. 

This photographer introduced us to the silly face photo we now do every year.  I remember the kids looking at us parents behind the photographer like, really, we can make a silly face?  Are you sure it's okay? They were so unsure. But then it didn't take long for them to love the idea.  And this is one of my favorite photos of them ever. 

In 2013, we had planned to take a photo outside near our house, probably Peck Farm.  But there was a storm that kept us inside, so we improvised in our family room.

Abigail insisted on wearing her new cowboy boots.

My brother, oh brother. 

And then it's time already to take another family photo this year.  We had gorgeous weather.  Everyone was having a good hair day.  We rearranged the furniture at the Cantigny garden and stopped traffic for a few minutes so we could take this picture. 

Tell me it doesn't melt your heart to see those two little boys!

We look so proper in that first picture!  Hands folded, ankles crossed, smiles all around.  A mom and grandma would be proud.  But I'm telling you that my mom is no ordinary mom and this picture below will be the one she shows everyone with pride.

So silly we are.

Taking a family photo like this every two years really shows that time flies.  The kids have all changed and grown so much in the last 9 years.  Those little girls are now in college.  Preschoolers are now in middle and high school and figuring out their passions in life.  And adorable little baby boys are thinking about what they want to be when they grow up.  But I'm glad we have these pictures to remember how cute they were back then, how much less they talked back, and how easy it was to have them sit on our laps.

I can't even imagine what the photo in 2017 will look like.  But I can't wait.  Well, maybe I can. 

25/52

I'm a bit of a mess this Christmas.  I don't know why I'm so behind.  It's not as if I don't remember that Christmas is coming; it's the same day every year (unlike Easter that moves around on the calendar and can sneak up on you if it's in March)!  But I do think that I need more than just the four or so weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas to prepare.  So for all of you scrooges out there - I need more time!  Yes, I need to start getting ready after Halloween!  It's not that I don't love Thanksgiving, but it's kind of a breeze to prepare for compared to Christmas (my mom and Papa make most of the food, maybe they disagree).

So we just put up our Christmas tree this weekend.  If you check out week 23, you'll see that we love our personalized ornaments.  And the kids have a lot of them.  So decorating the tree is quite a process in our family.  The Christmas music plays in the background, Brian assembles the tree (oh maybe one day we can have a REAL one) and strings the lights - making sure there are no holes and that the tree is evenly lit.  I unwrap and hand out the ornaments for the kids to hang.  Then the family room lights go out and Brian turns the Christmas lights on.  Commence the oooo and ahhhh - like we are watching fireworks on the fourth of July.  

Apparently the eye for hanging ornaments on a tree comes later in life. After the kids decorate it, I usually make a few adjustments (really?  Three ornaments on the same branch when there are several branches with NO ornaments?) - but not this year.  Who do I have to impress?  The only people coming to my house for Christmas this year is my family and well, they know that my kids are crazy!

Emma fought to hang the Zoey ornament.  Apparently Abbi hung it last year.

Abbi - hanging ornaments from her ear.

Isaac - with the coveted High School Musical locker ornament.

 And then after the big Christmas tree reveal (well, big is maybe a little overstated), there was a big of a family wrestling match.  They were nice enough to pause and pose for me.

Oooooo, Ahhhhhh

And once all the Christmas tree excitement wore off, I walked back in the room to Abbi standing on the ottoman.  Do you see the pure Christmas joy in her face?  This is the girl that sings Christmas carols ALL year round.  Some days I forget that she is fifteen.  I kinda like that. 

Two silly peas in a pod.

And can we just acknowledge that Brian officially weighs less than he did when we got married?  He's been running since August when we started training for the Zombie Run.  And a couple months ago he decided to start training for a sprint marathon and started swimming too!  You look great!  Can't wait to cheer you on!

So Christmas is next week.  Next week!!  There's still a lot to do, so I better go now...