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Have you ever stood in one place completely frozen and paralyzed by your emotions?  Fear, anger, confusion, sadness, loss, anxiety, depression?  Something else you can't quite put your finger on? I'm talking about the kind of emotion that consumes you and every one of your thoughts for every minute of the day.  The kind of emotion that makes you feel like you are in the middle of intense fog. Where, from where you stand, you can't see into the distance.  You have no idea what lies beyond the fog.  You don't even know which direction to go because you can't see past a few hundred feet.  You look all around you, hoping for something to shine from the distance, hoping for some clue to let you know which way to go.  And when you can't see anything you turn in circles, making yourself dizzy - and getting nowhere. 

We've had foggy mornings for the last few days.  After I dropped Emma off at the barn on Saturday morning, I ran over to Peck Farm Park with my camera in hopes of getting some great pictures of the fog. 

Peck Farm Park fog

We should add silos to the crazy list of things I love to photograph. This silo actually has an entrance with stairs and three observation decks so that you can see off into the distance.

There are stairs on the outside of this silo.  I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I...

This silo actually made it's first appearance in the background of my niece, Alexis', senior pictures.  She's a little crazy, but a lot of fun - and she has the best laugh. 

This is the barn you can see from one of the observation decks in the silo. From the ground, you see only the top two-thirds of the barn.  It looks like it's the only structure here, doesn't it? 

The view of the barn from the ground.

From the second level of the silo, here's what you see. The observation windows aren't the cleanest, so the camera tried to focus through the dirt and water spots (and I don't know that I'm supposed to, but I like how this turned out).  But here, you see more of and notice different things about the barn.  There is a pretty white back deck.  And you can see that there is more beyond the barn.  But not much beyond that fog. 

The view from the second level observation deck.

My camera fought with me and tried to focus on the dirt and water marks on the observation window.  It made the barn hard to see.  You can sort of tell there is a red building there, but the details are missing. 

When was the last time this window was cleaned, do you think?

This spiral staircase is how you get to the three observation decks inside the silo.  I was the only one there, so they felt sturdy and easy to navigate.  But I've been there before when there have been other people and then the stairs can feel a little shaky.  If it's crowded it can be sort of a dance when you are going up and they are coming down.  You're trying to figure out who is there, where they are going and if you need to get off the stairs completely or if you can just scoot to the side and let them through.  And let's just add stairs to the list here.  They are pretty.  I like the lines.  I like that you can't see exactly where they go, but you know they lead somewhere.  Somewhere fantastic probably. 

Stairway to....

But getting on those stairs takes faith in a way, doesn't it?  They can be scary.  And it's a million times worse if you're afraid of heights.  Especially if they don't look solid and stable.  Add in other distractions, like people, and it can be difficult to get anywhere.  And then there's that whole not-being-able-to-see-exactly-where-you're-going thing.  But if you know you can't stay where you are, you'll have to face it, won't you?  You'll have to take a step.  The first one can be the hardest, but then it gets easier. 

A different perspective of the barn.

And as I got down those stairs and walked out of the silo, I noticed the barn looked a little different from this angle.  I did have to climb up a couple rocks and a wall to see it exactly like this, but somehow, the barn looks more beautiful from just right here.  Maybe it's how the trees stretch through the picture.  Maybe it's the stonework that frames the foreground. 

But here's where I'm going with this.  The fog can make you feel like you can't go anywhere without getting lost or maybe even that there is nowhere you can go.  It can freeze you in your tracks not being able to see a destination beyond the next hundred feet.  Sometimes a little faith and changing your perspective can help.  But even getting to that change in perspective requires you to do something, to move, to think differently.  And the uncertainty of change can be terrifying.  But it gets to you to see things you didn't see before.  Maybe even realize there is beauty in what you can see in the nearest hundred feet.  Taking a step back can help you to see the big picture.  Or taking a step closer and climbing up a bit can give you a perspective you've not seen before.  And every step you take can reveal something more.  Because if you only focus on what is so very in front of you, from a dirty window, you won't be able to see the beauty that can lie beyond.  Fog or no fog.